I just keep discovering new levels of messed-upness. I dont know what to do about them. Although I was briefly bothered about my sanity, I think I have really given up on doing anything about it. Somehow, giving up on myself makes me feel, at the very least, peaceful. That's good enough, for now.

Its not like I want to give up. I try to chit-chat with people to distract myself from what goes inside. It works most of the times. But the truth is, most of the times, people are really busy. And I see myself spiraling down.

Writing it out, will hopefully, be able to substitute, the need for friends.