People keep telling me, I am not like others. Most certainly not like other girls. Many tell me I am crazy and laugh, while I agree and I laugh it off. Especially when I tell them that I sometimes enjoy watching weird fucked up movies. They give this weird look. Am I ok? I ask myself. Well, at least I am functioning on the outside.

The truth is, I watch such movies to distract myself, to make myself numb, temporarily. After going through such movies, I feel numb on the inside, at least for a few minutes. It gives me such a relief to feel nothing, for a change. And I desperately try to hold on to that numbness, as long as I can. This numb feeling, helps me to hold on to my sanity.